“Using the breath to bring us back to the present moment takes no time at all, only a shift in attention. But great adventures await you if you give yourself a little time to string moments of awareness together, breath by breath, moment to moment.”
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
Coping Skills are a way of practicing calm. When we practice being calm, through guided meditation, breath awareness, Yoga, self-compassion, movement, mindfulness, emotion regulation, connecting with our spirit, reaching out to a good friend, being in nature, spending time being in the moment with our animals/pets, allowing ourselves to express our creative interests/impulses, etc. (there are so many ways to practice calm/coping skills), we stand a much better chance of being able to navigate stress and show up in a meaningful, authentic way. Start small, continue on, a little bit each day.
Self-Compassion break: 1st acknowledge what is present mindfully without judgement. ie. “This is a moment of suffering.” or “Self-judgment is present”. That’s Mindfulness. Next, practice Common Humanity by acknowledging that you are not alone. Lots of other people are also suffering right now. ie. I know others are feeling shame right now too. Lastly, practice self-kindness through using an affirmation or mantra as you inhale and exhale, such as, “May I accept myself as I am” or “I am a good person” or “This will pass”. Visit selfcompassion.org for more self-compassion resources.
STOP: S: Stop what you are doing. T: Take 5 deep, slow breaths (which slows down panic/hyper-arousal). O: Observe what is happening in your body and also around you (temperature, texture, sights, sounds, sweating, nature, other people). P: Proceed with loving-kindness (Check in: Am I calm? If not, repeat).
Movement: Research shows that 15 min. of exercise that gets your heart rate up is enough to bring a shift in your nervous system from high stress/anxiety/a crisis state into a calm state. Moving your body is one of the best ways to cope with negative thoughts and strong emotions. Take your body for a run, to the gym, a walk with the dog or a friend; dance to a song with good beats; ride a bike, go for a hike, try Yoga or hula hooping.
TIPP: a DBT skillset for surviving a crisis. Don’t need to do these in order. T: Tip the temperature of your face with cold water on a cloth for 30 seconds. I: Intense Exercise for 10-15 min. P: Paced breathing - slow the pace of your breathing down as you inhale and count to 5, and as you exhale and count to 6. This will help your nervous system return to a calm state within a few min. P: Progressive muscle relaxation - Tense each muscle group (hold your breath a few seconds) head to toe, and exhale as you relax the muscle group. Repeat if needed until calm.
Box Breathing: As you inhale, visualize drawing the left side of the box going up as you count to 4. Hold your breath as you mentally draw the line at the top of the box and count to 4. Exhale as you visually draw the right side of the box for 4 counts. Hold your breath for 4 counts as you draw the bottom of the box right to left. Repeat for 1-3 min.
Guided Meditation: There are many apps that offer free guided meditations. Some people like Insight Timer, the Calm app, and there are many on YouTube. Pick one with the time you have available and someone’s voice you like. Find a comfortable seat removed from distractions. Begin to notice your breath.
Creative Expression: Make something. Paint/write a card for someone you care about/yourself, and send it. Write affirmations about your strengths, and post it where you can see it. Cook or bake something that sounds delicious. Paint a picture. Make a collage. Color. Sew. Knit. Mend your life one small, enjoyable project at a time. Let yourself play!
5 Senses: This is a great (distress tolerance/crisis survival) skill to practice anywhere. See 5 things that catch your eye, touch 4 things you can feel (within reach), listen for 3 sounds you can hear, identify 2 smells, and lastly taste 1 thing mindfully. Breathe deeply as you notice what you are seeing/feeling/hearing/smelling/tasting, and relax as you arrive in the present moment.
Embracing: Hug your dog/cat, a trusted friend, your pillow or blanket. Squeeze your forearms as you breathe and acknowledge, “this is my body. I’m okay. My body is good.” You can embrace your own spirit by being aware of your feelings and thoughts, staying present and affirming yourself, “I’m here for you.”
Aromatherapy: Adding an essential oil you like to your bath/shower/pillow/the dish water is a small, yet significant mood booster. Lavender, known for improving mood and decreasing anxiety and depression, can be used topically or internally (Lavella).
Spiritual Connection: Some people find spiritual connection through prayer, music/song, writing, going to a sacred space, Yoga, hiking, visiting/conversing with/expressing gratitude to someone, painting, dancing, meditating, being in community, avoiding cell phones/social media/drugs and alcohol, being intentional. There are many ways to connect. What works for you?